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After the Eagles’ Super Bowl win, the Philly police scanner was pure poetry

PHILADELPHIA, Penn. — As was expected, the city of Philadelphia reacted to their well-earned Super Bowl with brotherly grace and aplomb.

LOL, you see it’s a funny joke because frankly it’s a miracle that place is still standing.

It’s no surprise the Philly police scanner was a wild ride late Sunday night as Super Bowl-parched fans flooded the streets by the thousands. Here are a few choice excerpts, as transcribed by CNN:

“10,000 college students on Walnut Street.”

PHILADELPHIA, PA – FEBRUARY 05: Fans celebrate the Philadelphia Eagles’ victory in Super Bowl LII game against the New England Patriots on February 5, 2018 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania..(Photo by Eduardo Munoz Alvarez/Getty Images)

“You have at least 19,000 people headed to Center City.”

“You see that guy traveling on the pole on Walnut. Can you try to get down there?”

“Got a Christmas tree fire. Tell ’em get the fire extinguisher out of my truck to put it out.”

“They are climbing the statues outside of Art Museum.”

PHILADELPHIA, PA – FEBRUARY 05: Fans celebrating the Philadelphia Eagles’ victory in Super Bowl LII game against the New England Patriots on February 5, 2018 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania..(Photo by Eduardo Munoz Alvarez/Getty Images)

PHILADELPHIA, PA – FEBRUARY 04: Police officers stand guard as Philadelphia Eagles Fans celebrates their victory of the Super Bowl LII game against New England Patriots on February 4, 2018 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania..(Photo by Eduardo Munoz Alvarez/Getty Images)

“There is to be no one on top of the trash truck, guys.”

“They just flipped a car over here.”

“A man jumped off the light pole and landed on his head.”

“We need some people out here.”

Now, Philly fans are notoriously rowdy and there was certainly a lot of documented foolery —¬†like a bunch of people standing on an awning outside of a Ritz hotel¬†until it collapsed. But a few of the stories circulating on social media were just that — stories.

Reports of ostrich riding? False. The Philadelphia Zoo confirmed they have no ostriches and all other birds, ride-able or otherwise, were safe.

PHILADELPHIA, PA – FEBRUARY 05: philadelphia police officers try to keep fans away after broken macy’s store windows while celebrating the Philadelphia Eagles’ victory in Super Bowl LII game against the New England Patriots on February 5, 2018 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania..(Photo by Eduardo Munoz Alvarez/Getty Images)

PHILADELPHIA, PA – FEBRUARY 05: People carry a broken pole while celebrating the Philadelphia Eagles victory in Super Bowl LII game against the New England Patriots on February 5, 2018 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. (Photo by Eduardo Munoz Alvarez/Getty Images)

Likewise, reports of fatalities were, as of Monday morning, also erroneous.

Ajennah Amir with the Philadelphia Mayor’s office told CNN early Monday morning that there were no fatalities, but definitely several acts of vandalism.

She also said there were reports of looting at a gas station and some injuries reported around light poles that had been pulled down.

As the police scanner said, “It’s endless Chief… Endless.”

William Carlos Williams would be proud.