NEW YORK — “Saturday Night Live” kicked off its season premiere Saturday with a sketch about this week’s hearing of US Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh. The twist? Kavanaugh was played by Matt Damon.
The 44th season premiere of the NBC sketch series opened with Damon playing an angry Kavanaugh screaming at the Senate committee asking him questions.
“WHAT?!” Damon’s Kavanaugh said, opening the hearing. “Let me tell you this, I’m going to start at an 11 then I’m going to take it to a 15 real quick!”
Damon’s Kavanaugh explained that he wrote his statement the night before while “screaming into an empty bag of Doritos.”
“I’m usually an optimist,” Damon said as the nominee. “I’m a keg-half-full kind of guy, but what I’ve seen from the monsters on this committee makes me want to puke … and not from beer!”
The satirical sketch series has used celebrities for key roles the last few seasons from Alec Baldwin playing President Trump to Robert De Niro playing special counsel Robert Mueller.
Damon’s Kavanaugh, who was viciously drinking glasses of water and was either yelling in a blind rage or crying, said that his accuser, Christine Blasey Ford, had no real evidence. He, on the other hand, has calendars.
“I’ve got these calendars,” he said. “These beautiful, creepy calendars.”
The sketch also mocked the Senate Judiciary Committee’s treatment of sex crimes prosecutor Rachel Mitchell, who was played by Aidy Bryant.
“Hi, I have about 4,000 loose papers on this weird little baby desk they set up for me here,” Bryant’s prosecutor said. “My name is Rachel Mitchell. I’m mostly here for Twitter.”
She added that even though those on the committee would likely call her “female prosecutor,” you can just call her “prosecutor.”
The NBC sketch show also had cast member Kate McKinnon add Sen. Lindsey Graham to her long line of characters.
McKinnon played up Graham’s angry reaction from Thursday’s hearing.
“You know what this is, Judge Kavanaugh? This is HELL!” McKinnon’s Graham said. “This is my audition for Mr. Trump’s Cabinet and for a regional production of ‘The Crucible.'”
The cold open ended with Damon’s Kavanaugh wrapping up his questioning.
“If you think I’m angry now just wait until I get on that Supreme Court because then you’re all going to pay,” he said before shotgunning a beer.
He then finished with beer still on his chin by saying the show’s catch phrase, “And live from New York, it’s Saturday night!”