NEW YORK — Alec Baldwin’s President Trump returned to NBC’s “Saturday Night Live” after a few weeks away to declare a national emergency and explain why the country needs a wall on its southern border.
“I’m here to declare a very urgent, important national emergency,” Baldwin as the President said. “This is a big one, so I don’t want to waste any time, but first I’d like to blow my own horn.”
Baldwin’s President Trump then said he’d just had a great health examination and was 6 feet, 7 inches tall, 185 pounds and “shredded.” He then broke down why the country desperately needs the border wall.
“We need wall because wall works,” he said. “Wall make safe. You don’t have to be smart to understand that. In fact, it’s even easier if you’re not.”
The faux president explained that declaring the emergency would likely lead to a challenge in court.
“I’m going to sign these papers for the emergency then I’ll immediately be sued, then the court won’t rule in my favor, then it’ll go to the Supreme Court, then I’ll call my buddy [Brett] Kavanaugh, then I’ll say it’s time to repay the Donny, then he’ll say ‘new phone, who this?'”
Baldwin’s President Trump said the process would finally end his “personal hell” of being president.
As the speech went on, and Baldwin’s President Trump kept rambling before taking questions from reporters, he explained that he told “Putin to just give the job to Hillary instead.” But he didn’t back down from the big national emergency.
“In conclusion, this is a total emergency, a five alarm blaze, which means I have to go to Mar-a-Lago and play some golf,” he said.
Baldwin’s President Trump then said the show’s signature catch phrase, “Live from New York … it’s Saturday night.”