MILWAUKEE -- 'Tis the season for spending and socializing -- and it can really get overwhelming. Mediator Moira Kelly joins Real Milwaukee to talk about why we have such a hard time saying no and how we can start to turn things around.
Why do we hate saying NO?
- We fear things: reprisal, rejection, prestige, loss of friendship, etc.
- We're uncomfortable with conflict
- We like to win and to be liked
- We make assumptions about how the other person will respond.
Keep it short.
- Don't lie.
- Acknowledge emotion.
- Eliminate the word 'BUT'.
- Keep your focus on the future.
- Do your best to manage expectations.
To say No well, make a NO sandwich:
- Explain the base values you are using.
- Say NO clearly and firmly.
- Explain what might be possible in the future.
Best resource book: The Power of A Positive No by William Ury (Bantam Books)