Mental illness; Fox Point author writes book to open dialogue
FOX POINT, Wis. - At this point, you might call Meg Kissinger an open book.
"The story about this is I got grounded one time. I can’t remember what bad thing I did," Kissinger said, bringing out a collage she made in her teens. "This was when I was probably a sophomore in high school. That was when I was at my naughtiest. I found all these old photos."
Kissinger knows the power of the pen. To borrow a journalism phrase she’s used before, she’s used her words as a tool to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.
Kissinger spent many of her 35 years as a newspaper reporter in Milwaukee, first with the Milwaukee Journal until it merged with the Sentinel, exposing major issues in the mental health system and spurring change.
"Then I thought the biggest story of my life is right in my lap," Kissinger said in her backyard garden in Fox Point. "It’s in my own family."
Kissinger's own family is an Irish Catholic one with eight children.
"I’m the middle kid – in a family that had a lot of love but a lot of mental illness," Kissinger said.
Growing up in Wilmette, Illinois, the future reporter’s characteristic curiosity started early.
"I had all these questions growing up," Kissinger said. "My mother would be gone for long stretches as a kid, and I didn’t know where she was."
Meg Kissinger
Before Kissinger went on to a career of getting answers, she said so much of her family’s life was shrouded in darkness – a closed book that stayed shut.
"The night my sister died, my dad called us all into the living room, and he said, in no uncertain terms, ‘If anybody asks, this was an accident,’" Kissinger said.
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But it wasn’t an accident. Kissinger’s older sister, Nancy, died by suicide in her 20s.
"I loved my dad very much," Kissinger said. "He was a wonderful, compassionate, hilarious guy, but I think he was…he was afraid people wouldn’t understand, and I feel like that kind of approach really lays the foundation for shame."
Kissinger knows the power of words, even, and especially, those left unspoken.
"I’d call my brothers and sisters (and ask), ‘Do I remember this correctly? Is it true we never talked about Nancy after she died?’" Kissinger said. "They were like, ‘Yep, pretty much.’"
It wasn’t just Nancy. Many members of Kissinger’s family fought against their own mental health issues, including her younger brother, Danny, who, 17 years after Nancy’s death, hanged himself.
"My brother wrote that only love and understanding can conquer this," said Kissinger, of a note Danny left her about a week before his suicide.
They’re words Kissinger has since taken to heart – a sort of guiding light as she pulls back the darkness.
"I was able to use the tools I used as a reporter all these years, but I just turned the notebook on myself and my family," Kissinger said.
Over the past several years, Kissinger cracked open her family history, her and her siblings bearing their souls for her new book "While You Were Out" – an open book in every sense of the term.
Kissinger writes candidly of her parents’ alcoholism and brother Danny’s legal issues. While Kissinger acknowledges people with mental health issues can be difficult to support, she paints a humanistic picture of why that support is so important all the same.
"I hope that people walk away looking at people again with mental illnesses as less scary, as human beings, as people worthy of our love and our care and our attention," Kissinger said. "It can happen to anybody."
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It’s not about righting the wrongs of the past but writing for a better future. While Kissinger said the climate surrounding mental health is changing, and talking about it is becoming less taboo, there’s still work to be done.
"We need more doctors for sure. It’s scandalous," Kissinger said. "Did you know more than half of counties in America don’t have a single psychiatrist?"
Meg Kissinger
Kissinger said she hopes books like hers can turn the page.
"For as much sorrow as our family had, we also had a lot of joy," Kissinger said. "I wrote this book to spark conversations and make it approachable for people, so they can say, ‘My mom’s family had this,’ or, ‘My family has this,’ and kind of open the door for people to have these conversations about the mental health struggles in their families and kind of normalize it."
As her brother once told her, perhaps the most important words of all: Only love and understanding can conquer this.
"I think he had the formula," Kissinger said.
Milwaukee free mental health resources
Mental Health Emergency Center
The Mental Health Emergency Center (MHEC) is the new county-wide psychiatric Emergency Department offering 24/7/365 crisis mental health assessment, stabilization, treatment, and transition care management for children, adolescents and adults.
1525 N. 12th Street
Milwaukee WI 53205
414-966-3030
Access Clinics
Serves uninsured Milwaukee County residents.
Provides mental health assessments, medications and therapy referrals.
Clients are seen on a first-come, first served basis, and there may be an extended wait time.
Hours:
Monday – Friday: 8:30 a.m. – 4:30 p.m.
Walk-in hours for initial assessment: 8:30 a.m. – 2:30 p.m.
Access Clinic South
1635 W. National Avenue
Milwaukee, WI 53204
414-257-7900
Access Clinic East
210 W. Capitol Drive
Milwaukee, WI 53212
414-257-7665
NAMI National Alliance on Mental Illness - Southeast Wisconsin
Monday – Friday, 9 a.m. – 5 p.m.
Provides information and referrals for appropriate resources, support groups and advocacy services related to mental health.
414-344-0447
Provides comprehensive mental health care and support for children, teens and young adults who cannot afford services elsewhere. Also provides specific counseling for young victims of sexual abuse. Call for more information or to schedule an appointment. A sliding fee scale is available.
4200 N. Holton Street - Suite 400, Milwaukee
414-964-2565
Walker’s Point Youth and Family Center
Free and confidential counseling services with a focus on runaways, homeless and other youth and their families. Provides 24/7 crisis hotline, family and parent counseling, individual and group counseling, referrals and emergency shelter for runaways and youths in crisis.
2030 W. National Avenue, Milwaukee
414-647-8200
Warmline
Peer-run support line for those with mental illness. This is not a crisis line.
414-777-4729