Family's annual charity softball game raises money, brings them closer together

MILWAUKEE - For a local family, the pain of loss will never go away, but reliance on family continues to help them go forward.

This is the Grebe family in 2024: Mike, Kelly, Tripp and Griffin.

Two other members are still very much with them; Bridger was developing normally for almost a year before that stopped, and he was ultimately diagnosed with infantile neuroaxonal dystrophy, an extremely rare disease that ended up claiming his life at age 9. Younger brother Essex was also afflicted and passed away at 7.

Tripp Grebe: As I get older and I think back on it, I think, more than anything, I learned a lot from my parents during that period of time. A lot of times we did think that life was normal.  We knew that Bridger and Essex weren't progressing at the rate they should have been, but our lives still went on. Our family was still going on family vacations together. We were still going to Brewers games together. Bridger and Essex were coming to all of our baseball and football and basketball games. So more than anything, as I get older, I just reflect on how special our time was with Bridger and Essex.

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FOX6's Tim Van Vooren: I know you have used the word "inescapable." I think that is part of what makes this so hard to fathom because that word describes what you guys had to deal with. What was it like to live with that inescapability?

Mike Grebe: At times it was very, very difficult and challenging, and sometimes unpleasant.  And there's just no getting around that.  But there is another side to it, which is that it forces you to confront the immediacy of your time with your family right now.  And that's a really valuable and, in some ways remarkable, lesson that Bridger and Essex taught me.  You can't forget the immediacy of your time with your family.  Embrace it.

FOX6's Tim Van Vooren: Griffin, you seem like an empathetic guy. How much of that empathy comes from your personal experience?

Griffin Grebe: Oh my gosh. The characteristics, the traits that I try to have, that I strive to have, empathy, compassion, right? The amount of those traits that came from my experiences with Bridger and Essex are incredible. One of the main things it taught was you don't know what people are going through, right? Like you have no clue what's going on in their life. It happened with us. We would meet somebody, and they don't know what's going on. I don't know. I think that as unfortunate that it happened to us, I think that we're very fortunate that we had two people who taught us that so well.

FOX6's Tim Van Vooren: For more than a decade, the Grebes have held a softball game to raise funds for INAD research and support. This year, that event was at University School. Mike, Tripp and Griffin are all former Wildcat players and now the school will play on Bridger & Essex Grebe Field.

Kelly Grebe: Having their name on the field, with baseball being so important to our family. I mean we live and breathe baseball, we love baseball.  And to be able to have that field named after them, they never got to play, but they're there playing now."

FOX6's Tim Van Vooren: Do you feel cheated? Did you ever feel cheated?  

Mike Grebe: No. If I felt cheated, it would mean that I wanted and expected those two boys to be somebody other than who they were. They were who they were, they were afflicted with this condition. While that's sad and while I grieve their loss, we don't grieve their lives. They were beautiful boys and I don't feel cheated, at all. We are a better family and better people because they were in our lives.

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Kelly Grebe: In life, we need to count our blessings, not our curses, and they were unbelievable blessings.

Tripp Grebe: And in fairness, I think there was a time in my life when I felt that maybe I was being cheated. And that's kind of what I think about when I look at these videos of kids that are currently battling INAD. I don't blame those families or those siblings if they feel like they are being cheated right now because when I knew that Bridger and Essex had INAD, and they were still with us, I would think about that sometimes, about how it's not fair. Why does it have to be our family? Why does it have to be my little brothers? On a basic human level, our family loves each other a lot, and I was blessed to have the time with Bridger and Essex that I had. But I also thank God every day that I have Griffin.

Griffin Grebe: I think seeing how many times we alluded to them or certain examples of what happened, how many times we looked at each other and we smiled.  We have good memories that came from it, we really do, and it would be so easy, it would be so easy, to look at it and focus on the bad things, but there were so many good things and good experiences and memories that we have.  And I think that being able to talk through it and being able to smile, that means so much. That means so much."

For more information and ways to support other families facing challenges with this disease, visit the National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke’s website.